Fog Lifting

Hi, friends, Bao here.

I'm sliding into here on the last day of the week to deliver my promised regular post.

Maybe I could even start blogging everyday from now on. I can afford the time now, anyway. I quit my job.

Let me say that again, in case it didn't sink in the first time. I quit my job.

I needed out, you guys. I needed out of feeling never connected to what I was doing. Feeling not in the midst of life, but instead floating over it all the time. I need meaning in my life. I can chip away at something, out of a sense of duty and (up until now) relying on external sources to give structure to my days. But it came down to an all or nothing question for me. And I opted for nothing, I guess.

There have been big questions nagging at me. Of culture and belonging. Self sufficiency within societal systems of responsibility. Relationships and boundaries... I don't think I paid too much attention to "the rules". I was ignorant to so many of them, going through college, and then through my first real-life jobs after college. I still managed to avoid trouble, though. My ignorance can be explained by being a first generation immigrant, not fully embraced by either one of her cultures - oh, and also by my introversion. A double whammy. Anything that an extrovert might have learned through social experience, missed me completely. I managed to avoid trouble, though, because I am mild-mannered, and when I'm not mild-mannered, I am at least somewhat thoughtful about it.

Anyway, I want to forget the rules. The rules I have been tiptoeing around all my life. The lines I've stayed inside. This map was made by someone else, so I am just constantly hovering over it, not connecting to anything on the actual terrain. So I'd like to jump down to the terrain. Forge my own map, my own lines, rules, whatever the heck you want to call them.

At the back of all this, too, I want to spend more time with my family. Make more of a concerted effort with my family.

Honestly, I don't think that the values and rules I come up with for myself will differ all that much from most peoples'. My map will look similar to everyone else's, at the end of the day. But the important part is arriving at them myself.

As I become more of an adult, I make bolder decisions. Let's hope it'll turn out for the best. I have a little bit of a financial net to catch me. I can make it for the next couple months. But after that, I need to find other ways of making money.

Wish me luck, my friends.

love,

Bao

Tattered Cover Bookstore

Moto Shearling Jacket

Hello, friends!

I'm making up for yesterday's photoless blog post with a quick little outfit shoot.

Today went by really fast. We slept in, had a bit of relaxing time on the couch, me writing in my journal and Max scrolling Facebook. Then we went to a Vietnamese restaurant in Aurora for a reunion lunch with a few people from our old company, where Max and I met originally.

Afterwards we went to the central library downtown because I had a book due. I also picked up some Spanish textbooks and reference books - need to start preparing some lesson materials so that I can start tutoring in Spanish! My little side hustle, hehe.

Max good-naturedly took these pictures for me on his phone because I was feelin' my outfit n_n I'm wearing a few new things, like the jeans and the jacket.The jacket was a total steal from Express, and it kept me warm while Max in his fisherman cardigan complained about being chilly.

We drove home at 4:30 and I marveled at how it wasn't yet dark outside. I'm so happy to be getting closer and closer to Spring, though I know it's gonna be a long time yet. Winter in Colorado starts really picking up its pace in February and March, actually. It snows on my birthday more than you'd expect, since my birthday's all the way at the end of March. Lots of light is still something to enjoy, though :)

Hope you all had a great weekend!

love,

Bao

p.s. read more for outfit details. get to know which stores take my money ;)

In the Moment

Dear friends,

I'm afraid today is going to be a boring, photo-less post. It's Saturday. I have the next 5 days off. I am just relaxing today, and trying to figure out what I'm going to do in this mini vacation that got built into my January work schedule.

Do you ever feel like you're just laying around waiting for something to happen? Some idea to hit you, some energy to come to you that you just don't have right now, to get up and start doing something? I often do.

Now that I'm part time, people ask me, what are you doing with your extra time? Well, honestly, I am still just figuring out what to do with my extra time. I'm trying to stay busy, with this blog, with The Artist's Way workbook... but a lot of old habits from depression are present in my life. It feels strange to have more energy to do things, not knowing what to apply that energy towards. Putting myself out there more raises questions I never had to deal with before, too. Anxiety hits me about the things that I'm doing and saying. But at the same time I have a bit more resilience, to bounce back from those anxious thoughts. I'm still just adjusting.

Today, I have done enough already, I think. Cleaned the apartment with Max. Saw my friend Tran at a cafe. Took a nap. Wrote in here. I think I'll spend the rest of the evening reading... dreaming and scheming. What more to do in these precious days of part-time work and how else to take advantage of this time, to learn about myself, to lay the foundation for life the way I want to live it. I'm living it now. I should never lose sight of that.

Enjoy your present, precious friends. Life is precious.

love,

Bao

Snowy Day Spent Inside in Denver

Hi again, friends. I'm back again :)

I've just been spending the day inside relaxing and doing a little personal work. I'm currently reading through The Artist's Way workbook by Julia Cameron. So far I've made it to week 8. I'll let you know how it goes once I'm at the end. All of the things on my bulletin board in the picture above, actually, are things I've done because of assignments in that book :) Except for the little blue pic of FKA Twigs.

Today I felt like giving you a little peek of my room. I mentioned that I redecorated, and the biggest change I made, which I'm most excited for, was I got my own little desk. With the shelf next to it with all my skin care, hair care, and makeup housed in it, my desk also sometimes doubles as my vanity :) I am so grateful to have a little space in our home where I can work, and that is filled with things I love.

See where the pillow is on the floor? I intend to make that my zen and dreaming space soon, as soon as I find a small stand to place in the corner, where I can put incense. Another assignment from The Artist's Way, actually :)

There you have it, a little corner of my world :) It hasn't been clean and clutter free in a while, so today was a good time to share.

I wanted to speak a little bit about the topic of sharing today, actually. I love sharing and documenting online, as I've expressed before. That's why I started to blog, because I wanted to create an intentional space where I could share my life, thoughts, feelings, dreams, and any little thing else. The intention is to have a space of support, of recognition. Even if not many people read these words or visit, whoever does take the time to do so, I hope that you get some sense of companionship from me through my words and images.

I know how it is to be lonely. And I know the importance of having your own space - even if it is only virtual. Hey, virtual is how so many of us connect nowadays. I am renewing and deepening my intention to connect through here, and to share. Social media is not all about getting likes and followers, or at least it doesn't have to be. Blogging is helping me, and I hope that maybe it helps someone else out there, too.

My little moment of zen for today ;)

Hope you're feeling cozy, warm, and loved, wherever you are.

love,

Bao

Get to Know Me: 7 Facts

Having breakfast at home this morning. Welcome in :)

Dear readers and friends,

It's been hard for me to write this post. I wrote it a few times, but then scrapped each draft. And I am currently writing from the start again. Ah, well, it's a personal blog, so I think it might even be best to be writing in the moment, anyway, wouldn't you agree? n_n

If you couldn't tell from the title of this entry, I wanted a chance for us to get to know each other better... or, heck, I might as well just say it: a chance for you to get to know me better, since this blog is mainly all about me :P I can't help it that that's the nature of the medium! Hehe. Feel free to comment though, anything you like. I promise I don't bite! And maybe then we will get a chance to get to know each other better n_n

Here is my breakfast. I hope you have something yummy, and something hot to sip on as well :)

Without further ado, here they are, seven facts about me. Fun and interesting facts about me, with pictures from my past (!), after the jump :)

Life Catch-Up, and Mini Meininger Haul

On our way to our favorite Mexican restaurant :)

Hi, friends! Long time, no see! Again!

Again, I'm really, really sorry! :( I promise to be better!

True, Max pushed me to work on my blog tonight, instead of putting it off for a couple days... but I did have full intentions of coming back full force this year! I will be posting at least once a week this whole year! So you're going to get to know me a lot better! :)

I couldn't possibly tell you everything I've been up to since the last time I wrote, but, well, actually, my life is pretty uneventful, so maybe I could. Some big highlights, though:

• I started bullet journaling. And I freaking. Love it!
• I started working part time.
• I redecorated my room!

So, yeah, that wasn't so hard to sum up, actually! Hehehe.

The first week of 2017 has been chill so far for Max and me. We're coming down from the holidays, still, ya know? Plus, winter in Colorado finally started acting like winter this past week, and we've used that, too, as an excuse to not get out of the house off of our lazy bums ^^''

Today, though, we finally went out. I needed to go to Meininger for some bujo - that's short for bullet journal - supplies, and then I wanted to visit my parents in their mountain-cabin-esque house. (Oh my gosh, where my parents are living now is a story in itself - but it's their own, private story to tell, hehe.) On the way, though, we made a pit stop at our favorite little family-run Mexican restaurant in the Highlands neighborhood, where they make their own fresh tortilla chips, and the best Micheladas ever, and where we haven't had a single bad meal!

Very quick little shoot outside the restaurant, La Taqueria Mexicana, as we were excited to eat here more than anything! It's been a while for us, since this place is out of our way now. We found it when we were living in our old neighborhood n_n

Also, this is the only picture that showed my shoes, too :P

I'm wearing the coat that Maksym got me for Christmas from Greylin. If you guys can tell me what style blogger I copied this coat from, I will send you some airkisses, because that will mean that you and I follow the same influencers online, and in this huge, internet sea, that is quite some affinity-driven coincidence!

Oh, and isn't it great how Pantone named green-gold, or chartreuse as I like to say, the color of the year? That has been my favorite color for quite some time now, so I couldn't be more pleased with the choice! It makes it feel like this is gonna be a good year for me, my year :)

Max missed you guys but he, too, was more interested in tacos at the time ;P

Anyhoo, yes, onward with our journey, we went to my parents' house. We indulged in my new favorite drink to warm up on cold winter days: Lipton tea, mixed with cane sugar and ginger slices. I worked on my bullet journal, and that continued into the next couple of hours, and after we went back home, too.

Here's my little Meininger haul. I don't know how many states Meininger is in, or if it's unique to Colorado, but it's a great art store. It has notebooks and pencils and pens galore, and Max had to drag me out of there today! I behaved and only got my essentials:

Red Fabriano notebook, which is now serving as my trusty bujo, and some fountain ink refills for my Safari LAMY pen :)

Have you heard of Fabriano notebooks? I hadn't until I found them on display at Meininger one day. I fell in love with them slowly, and then all at once! They have the dot-grid that most bullet journalers want, but the grid is smaller than in Leuchturm or Moleskine notebooks. The cover is not as bendable as the Moleskine ones, or as thick and official feeling as the Leuchturms - they're just right in between, so I don't feel bad about tossing it in my purse. They have no fuss to them - just 80 sheets, a little pocket in the back, and no bookmark ribbon which I never paid attention to, anyway.

Some of my favorite tools, in my current favorite colors :) Notice the green gold? :)

Hung out in my sister's bed today working on my bujo. She had already gone back to her college town :(

Well, that's all I have to show you today, lovely readers and friends! n_n

I will be back soon -- I promise - with my hand on my heart - I will be back - soon - very soon!

So, until next time, babies!

Love,

Bao